There is a chapter called Name the Narrative, in the book I’ve talked about to you before, The Next Right Thing, by Emily P. Freeman.
As I’ve said several times, this book came to me at just the right time, helping me to make some personal changes to narratives that were holding me back. It cannot be overstated. I believe the podcast would not exist had it not been for what I learned in this book.
My friend, Susie, reminded me – quite by accident – that I needed to re-name an experience in my life…again. We were holding our book club and I was sharing with the girls “my most humiliating moment.” (Looking back, I realize it was like a marquee in my mind!) I told them I was 20 or 21 and participating in a speaking competition in San Diego. The speech had to be researched, written and memorized and then given extemporaneously – without notes.
Failure or Just a Memory?
I thought it was stupidest thing in the whole world. I wasn’t afraid of public speaking, and had already spent a lot of time on stage behind a microphone. But no notes? Who could do this? Apparently, someone could because he won.
Me? I was an utter failure and walked off the stage.
After I finished my little story, there was a short silence. You know, one of those silences so that whoever speaks next is heard clear as a bell? It was Susie. And in her inimitable wisdom, she responded by saying, “Wow, that was a long time ago.”
Get Rid of It
I simmered about that while someone else took the floor and realized how very right she was! I mean, I’m 63 years old. I’ve had a ton of humiliating experiences since then! I needed to re-name that narrative. It was like a shirt that didn’t fit anymore. Time to get rid of it, Joy.
Perhaps there’s something or some things in your life like that. Things that define you; old stories that define you in your mind. Consider getting rid of them.
And I would also suggest getting The Next Right Thing. There’s a link to the book on my website at Lifting Her Voice.
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