As you probably picked up on yesterday, the Lord impressed on me that I should share my testimony with you. I had to think about that a little, because, well, if I’m honest…there’s a Part 1 and a Part 2.
We’ve done several short-term missionary trips to Tanzania and have spent quite a bit of time learning to tell our own personal stories. We learned it needs to be honest, but somewhat concise when evangelizing. That’s Part 1, which I shared with you yesterday.
But I have a heart for those who struggle with their actual walk; putting feet to what we say we believe. I spent a great deal of my adult life stumbling. And that’s Part 2.
You see, I was all over the Savior part of Jesus. It’s the Lord part that took me too long to embrace. I could tell you I was rebellious, or stubborn, or hated change…and it was probably a little of all of those things. But I think mostly, it was that insecurity. I valued the approval of humans more than I did God’s.
Double-Minded
I spent half of my adult life, well, let’s just say…looking for love in all the wrong places. There was another part too, spent straddling an invisible fence, double-minded in all my ways, going to church, teaching kids, and then marking off my personal time from God as if I could separate that accountability.
Not too long after we moved to the little community where we live now, two things happened. One day, I was at work and I started ranting about something in a way that quite frankly would make a sailor blush. One of our remote workers came in the office and said something that made me know she was a believer. I wanted to melt into the floor. Immediately, I thought about how I would not have been saying that stuff if I knew my pastor was coming in.
The other circumstance happened at church. My friend’s daughter was leaving for the Peace Corp. Apparently, I was supposed to be in the nursery so she could have that last day with her daughter. Instead of dropping everything to cover for her, which would have been the loving thing to do, I defended myself for not knowing.
Something Changed
Something clicked in me. I can’t say exactly what, but those two events showed me clearly that I had to fish or cut bait. And with God’s help, I did. Then Mitch started coming to church again as a result of his own seeking. And we have never looked back.
God has blessed us beyond what we could ever imagine. I will praise Him till I die for who He is, and how His love has changed my heart.
I would be remiss if I didn’t repeat what I said yesterday: You can have that too. The joy and rest that comes with allowing God to take control. Matthew 6:33 says, “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you.”
I have found this to be true.
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